Tuesday 13 March 2012

The bee in my bonnet these past few months..

What is one to do?

When your heart, head and conscience are pulling in different directions, but keep changing their minds?
When there is much to be done, and much unresolved, but no real goal?
When there is still a morass of decisions to be picked through, and the big picture remains elusive?
When getting out of bed is a chore because you don't know where you're going?
When success and failure mean nothing but a change in a path to an unknown destination?

The answer is: you keep going.

Because life doesn't stop..not even if you do. And you may as well be there to watch.
Because there's a chance the damn path leads nowhere, but the scenery'll be nice to photograph.
Because maybe..just maybe..you don't see the big picture because you're in it.
Because there always is a next step, and you'll take it when you have to.
Because there's nothing else that can be done!

Wednesday 25 May 2011

translatory trip-ups!

I just got done whining to a friend about how I'm English deprived...I'm still a bit depressed, so here are a few "meh!" instances that I remember from my time in beer, sausage and pretzel land!

Chirpy friend (CF) and I were planning a picnic with some close friends:
CF: So we should meet at 12.
Me: yeah..sounds good.
CF: We need to have some activities planned... (raising voice).. Does anyone have balls?!
Me: *grinning and waiting for the obvious quips*
Everyone else: *silence*
me: sighhhh!

Sign at the Komisches Oper cloak room:

'Please hang yourself here'
(meh!)

Cute guy from some party in a post party email:

So, how does a boy have to do to see you again? I hope you have a realizable answer for that.

(MEH!)


Me: Supervisor dude (SD), I need something from the dark scary basement.
SD: uhh Jaa! I have to go on an exhibition then I can get it.
Me: um..ok (in my head: he probably meant he had to go to some exhibition thing that is taking place on campus and he can get the stuff for me after.) so when can we go get the stuff?
SD: uhh I have time now!
Me: oh ok! lets go!
So I'm expecting to go to an exhibition, but we end up in the basement..and I get my stuff. On the elevator back to lab:
Me: So..where's the exhibition?
SD: That was it!
Me:eh? (then the light went on in my cobwebbed brain- HE MEANT EXPEDITION WHEN HE SAID EXHIBITION!!) er.. of course *grimace*

Big blond dude at party: I've just arrived back from Africa
Me: oh really? what was it like?
Blond dude: Was very disorganised, ja.
Me: yes..I imagine so, but what did you do there? what did you see? what were your impressions?
Blond dude: Ja Ja..it was very disorganised.. and hot.
Me: Ok then! lets talk about the weather!
(German organisation and order FTW)

Greek friend A and I were hanging out:

Me: Want some tea?
A: nay
Me: ok (I pour some tea for myself and sit back down, to find him staring at me) What?
A: where's mine?
Me: you said you didn't want any.
A: no..I said yes..
Me: You said nay!
A: yes.. thats yes in Greek. No is 'okhey'
Me: SAY IT IN ENGLISH!

Italian friend A and I had just walked all over town

A: We're excellent street walkers, right?
me: er..
A: My feel hurt, though..I think I'm going to have to work on my technique
Me: *giggle*

Wednesday 21 July 2010

Stupid Questions.. and answers that come to mind but can't really be used..

Things that jogged my memory on this last trip home...

Q. Did you get a haircut? (when my hair is obviously shorter)
A. ..Nope, my pet rats got a bit hungry..
.. No! I can will it back into my scalp!
.. That is such a great way to acknowledge you noticed my haircut..yes.. now cast around for more conversation..

Q. (After forgetting timezones and waking me up at 4 am) Were you asleep?
A. .. 'course not..I dreamt you were gonna call
.. no! I stay up all night waiting for you to call
.. Yaaaawn *grumble*..hang up
..#*&^%#*@#(&^... ?$%^$%&...#$%^$%^^%%^&

Q. (Random acquaintance) You'd better tell me when you choouz a bayfrand, eh?
A. ..um..why? you want test drive aa? keep dreaming!
.. are you undercover Sri Ram Sene then?
.. Boyfriend aa? I got married last year..didn't you know?

Q. But how can you be vegetarian yaar? how? how do you manage?
A. .. #^*$%^$@ %^&%&($%
.. it's the most curious story.. I stepped in cowdung on the forth day after the new moon right after a solstice and this flash of light appeared and instructed me not to eat meat..
..Oh it's easy..I got these spanking new chlorophyll cells..now I don't have to eat at all! just get 8hrs of sunlight.. try it..you'll love it.

Q. Is it true that there are elephants in every indian household?
A. ..Yep..we go to school by elephant..the emissions can be a problem sometimes..
.. uh huh.. haven't you seen the Flintstones? how do you get running water then?


Q. (large matronly semi-stranger) You're not eating enough! Dieting aa?
A. .. yep! I regularly starve myself and try to toss up whatever I eat.. give it a
shot..you'll love it!
.. *giggle* yess aunty, I need to get a good husband no? who'll marry me then?

Q. (annoying acquaintance /relative) RENNNU! *hug hug, kiss kiss, hair ruffle* how are you?
A. .. DONT.TOUCH.ME!
.. I was ok..WAS. Now I'm scarred.
.. *scratch bite punch kick*

Tuesday 4 May 2010

Be Specific..

I've been looking for this poem for ages now.. I heard it in high school and forgot who it was by. It's quirky, fun and yet wise.. I'd given up hope, but it finally showed up on a blog (internet, sometimes you disappoint me!).. so here it is

Be Specific by Mauree Applegate

Don't say you saw a bird: you saw a swallow,
Or a great horned owl, a hawk, or oriole.
Don't just tell me that he flew;
That's what any bird can do;
Say he darted, circled, swooped or lifted in the blue.

Don't say the sky behind the bird was pretty;
It was watermelon pink streaked through with gold;
Gold bubbled like a fountain
From a pepperminted mountain
And shone like Persian rugs when they are old.
Don't tell me that the air was sweet with fragrance;
Say it smelled of minted grass and lilac bloom;

Don't say your heart was swinging;
Name the tune that it was singing,
And how the moonlight's neon filled the room.

Don't say the evening creatures all were playing;
Mention tree toad's twanging, screeching fiddle notes,
Picture cricket's constant strumming
To the mass mosquitoes humming
While the frogs are singing bass deep in their throats.


Don't use a word that's good for all the senses
There's a word for every feeling one can feel.
If you want your lines to be terrific;
Then do make your words specific,
For words can paint a picture that's real.

Tuesday 6 April 2010

ups and downs..

I'm a borderine facebook addict! I read my news feed at least thrice a day and it never bores me... in fact there's always something that apalls me, something that makes me smile, something that leaves me clueless and something that makes me really happy.. Today's pick, however was extreme enough to be blogworthy..

The low point:

One of my closer fb friends' response to a random blog rant about Sania Mirza's wedding to Shoaib Malik...

Well written - "it is down right disrespectful to your motherland for someone to embrace her sworn enemy whose only aim in life is to destroy her. Shoaib may not represent the Pakistani establishment or the terrorists who carry out bomb blasts in India but let’s not forget that his country does."
Superb!!!


None of my nevermind that the post itself was quite ordinary and echoed one of the million 'news' reports that are undoubtedly still running at primetime back home.. but the quote that he's praising.. It's a ghastly thing to realise that someone you've looked up to would be so narrow minded as to condemn someone as 'disrespectful to (her) motherland' just because she's marrying a Pakistani.. way to stand up for the 'tolerance' that India prides itself on... and more importantly..way to see people as a mass enemy rather than as individuals... one word to say: Uncool!

The high one:

A link posted be one of my favourite people (even before this post)

whoa.

This lifted my spirits after the previous post.. mostly because I'm something of a science junkie and this was one of those over the top things that you're not quite sure you should believe that make science so irresistable... but also because it reassured me that my closest friends are actually who I think they are- progressive thinkers who appreciate real news and things of actual importance enough to post them... folks who wont shatter my illusions with blind declarations of hatred against a nation stemming from a piece of gossip that should be found in some gossip rag. A, dude.. sooperu!

The things that made me smile were some routine silliness by way of status messages.. I ought to do a post on those...i know some very witty folks.. today's pick..

V with Kasab's still alive ? Shoot him already. followed by some typical responses..some corny some politically aware..some both!

What has me confused... 4 peeps that suddenly put up 'married' statuses.. T- you've been married 6 yrs and on FB 2yrs, boss.. Rip Van Winkle syndrome aa? S- engaged is not quite married...wait for it ma. V- you're in high school...this some mad teenager thing? R- whaaa?!

Thursday 4 February 2010

The §$&#*~ing limit!

I've been in the bleak and absolutely disheartening situation of having application after application rejected. I've despaired more than once of the seemingly futile attempts to contact professors, programmes and universities for PhD positions and yes! I know the desperation of the aspiring PhD student. But I had the sense to write proper letters, if and when I wrote to people for advice.. I also had specific questions and tried my best not to be a waste of time... so I really think people that don't extend the same courtesy to me deserve their emails deleted.. and posted here before that..

Here is the pick of the ridiculous emails that have been flooding my inbox the past month..I've changed the names (though these idiots would deserve their names publicised!) I kid you not..this is the kinda crap I've to put up with!

Hai R,

myself thomas i am gladdy that you are pursuestering your phd in the bsrt i do the master in science in botany from mysore university third sem. i want some halp in the knowledge of the application to the bsrt kindly formulate the needful


-hi R....i am glad to know that u r pursuing ur phd over there...i need some help from urside if u can....actually i wanna to make an impressive sop.... bt i dont know the formate....can u tel me ur formate...bye best of luck


Dear madam,
while surfing through net for PhD; i got ur ID and being an indian too i would like to first congrgulate u for ur high ambition and superior mentality and achievement. mam, i  Dr dash, done my graduation in veterinary science and post graduation in veternary pharmacology, presently doing PhD in vety pharmacology and toxicology at westbengal  veterinary university. i am in first semestar of PhD programme. mam, may i request u  do give any idea abut the subject , university, and requirments for applying a PhD progrmaame that wd be suitable to my profile.


I am Y.S from INDIA, completed my Masters in Bioinformatics with 70%(2006-2008), and also did my advance course in bioinformatics at Indian Institute of Chemical Technology. I have one International paper publication too. Actually I have applied to so many Universities in Germany for PhD...but always my application is getting unsuccessful.. I have been trying from APRIL 2009..I am trying very hardly but I am not getting PhD..I have keen interest to do PhD...I send more than 65 applications....But still I am getting failures....so...could you please please help me how to get PhD....Please  please  help me friends......



Myself CV. I am CV, currently pursuing M.Sc (Drug discovery) from Univ of London. I am about to complete my Masters in sept - 09. Presently carrying out research project at UCL. My bachelors is in medicine from India.
I am currently working on Biological project and want to continue to stay in the field of biological science. I came across ur university and im quite interested to know more about it.
So how is it wortful to apply as they may think i am from different backgroung and what may be the chances to get in to the programme.
Awaiting for your kind reply. Please provide ur respectful suggestion or advice.


Respected Mam..

I am BIOTECHNOLOGY postgraduate searching for Ph.D in your LABORATORY . I have well hands on experience in BIOTECHNOLOGY Laboratory skills

and i am interested in any field in your LABORATORY. i have registerd in your WEBSITE so please help to find the ONLINE application form

So please see MAIL me..


Hi
I'm ss ,
I'm applying to XYZ for PhD.
Im feeling application form as well.so can u guide me which 3 research projects i prefer,
I get to know about u from PhD students link from XYZ.
Kindly waiting for u r reply
faithfully,


hellow mam My self T.R completed my M.S in Biochemistry, working as a project fellow, sir i wan to develop my self in research so please help me,. sir please find the attachment file for further need full action. sir my two papers are in prosses to sent to article or jorunal.mam can please help me. plzzzzzzzzz

Regards


--

Yup! the average PhD student's woes go far beyond the frustrations of failed experiments. A response to all these guys.. I feel for you..I really do! but if you want any help, you'd do well to improve your language and pick a better recipient!

Saturday 16 January 2010

food forage..

Right! I'm not too happy with that title, but since I can't do better, we'll let it slide. Anyways.. it's now 22.40 hours on a Saturday.. and my most recent blog-worthy incident is 40 minutes old and in the process of being digested.. here's the recap...

So.. I surfaced at 22.00 hrs (from a long and gruesome paper involving horrific cruelty to mice) acutely aware of my rumbling tummy.. A quick survey of my supplies turned up one large potato and a small onion. A quick wack on the forehead and 'Renu, you fool! you were supposed to do a grocery run today!' later I'd pooled my resources and gathered the makings for Kartoffelpuffer..german potato pancakes.

Here's a pictorial of the process...

 






..And in a record time of 15 minutes, the above progress was planned, executed and in a further 10, consumed!

The verdict: Burp!