Things that jogged my memory on this last trip home...
Q. Did you get a haircut? (when my hair is obviously shorter)
A. ..Nope, my pet rats got a bit hungry..
.. No! I can will it back into my scalp!
.. That is such a great way to acknowledge you noticed my haircut..yes.. now cast around for more conversation..
Q. (After forgetting timezones and waking me up at 4 am) Were you asleep?
A. .. 'course not..I dreamt you were gonna call
.. no! I stay up all night waiting for you to call
.. Yaaaawn *grumble*..hang up
..#*&^%#*@#(&^... ?$%^$%&...#$%^$%^^%%^&
Q. (Random acquaintance) You'd better tell me when you choouz a bayfrand, eh?
A. ..um..why? you want test drive aa? keep dreaming!
.. are you undercover Sri Ram Sene then?
.. Boyfriend aa? I got married last year..didn't you know?
Q. But how can you be vegetarian yaar? how? how do you manage?
A. .. #^*$%^$@ %^&%&($%
.. it's the most curious story.. I stepped in cowdung on the forth day after the new moon right after a solstice and this flash of light appeared and instructed me not to eat meat..
..Oh it's easy..I got these spanking new chlorophyll cells..now I don't have to eat at all! just get 8hrs of sunlight.. try it..you'll love it.
Q. Is it true that there are elephants in every indian household?
A. ..Yep..we go to school by elephant..the emissions can be a problem sometimes..
.. uh huh.. haven't you seen the Flintstones? how do you get running water then?
Q. (large matronly semi-stranger) You're not eating enough! Dieting aa?
A. .. yep! I regularly starve myself and try to toss up whatever I eat.. give it a
shot..you'll love it!
.. *giggle* yess aunty, I need to get a good husband no? who'll marry me then?
Q. (annoying acquaintance /relative) RENNNU! *hug hug, kiss kiss, hair ruffle* how are you?
A. .. DONT.TOUCH.ME!
.. I was ok..WAS. Now I'm scarred.
.. *scratch bite punch kick*
